Friends could never call or come home after school as mammy could be comatose on the floor


I grew up with two alcoholic parents in a very dysfunctional household that was extremely violent. Police calling to our home at weekends, ambulances taking my Mother away after my father had split her head open again against the fireplace whilst I stood behind him begging him to stop, my mother attending school masses and wetting herself, my brother drowned during my childhood – probably suicide – the facts of that like everything else was hidden. My coping mechanism was to smile through my childhood and pretend nothing was wrong – friends could never call or come home after school as mammy could be comatose on the floor surrounded by filth or she could be making a nice roast dinner – god only knew – but I knew always with the extra sense I had as a child – before I reached that front door I knew if she was drunk or sober. I hid her empty vodka bottles to try and save her a beating – I diluted them with water – I begged them to stop. No one ever helped or supported us – we grew up in a lovely neighbourhood in Artane Dublin where everyone knew what was going on but no one assisted. The police turned a blind eye – I self harmed as a child and our family now is completely estranged. My father is alive somewhere – my Mother ended up living alone after they finally separated – after I had left home , she continued to abuse alcohol dreadfully and burned her face very badly – ended up in hospital when I found her – lighting a cigarette drink in bed – a few short months after that I found her dead in bed – cause of death alcohol. I have always wondered why society ignores the children of alcoholics – always wondered why we were left to suffer – all I wanted was to escape and went on to have 4 children of my own but the scars run deep and the effects of my childhood cannot be forgotten. I hope through the work being done here some help can be afforded to the poor children going through it now still. There should be support and talks to children / teenagers from survivors so they know they are not alone but most importantly – not at fault. I would be happy to share my story as I’m sick and tired of Re living it and knowing that no one wants to listen or believes what goes in behind the closed doors of a lot of “nice” family homes in Ireland . I would also love to give hope to those currently suffering.