I still feel the pain in my stomach; that worry pain.

I block out the memories of all the hurt caused by alcohol to our family. I honestly can say my father’s drinking was like the grim reaper, hanging around always ready to pounce, it could be any time, any occasion – weddings, Christmas, even funerals, the drink always won. The fear of his drinking and how his mood would change is always with me even now, as a adult woman, I monitor his mood when he drinks, just in case!

I still feel the pain in my stomach; that worry pain. I love my father. I know drinking was his release for his problems. I feel guilty for even writing this down like somehow I have betrayed my family by sharing a snippet of how my early childhood was.